


Loneliness

by hamelott



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Ezekiel is not FBI, Happily Ever Afters AU, Jake is not a professor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 10:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10660341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamelott/pseuds/hamelott
Summary: Prompt: Could you write a fic where Ezekiel is in a really bad relationship and Jake is all worried but Ezekiel thinks he's overstepping his boundaries but then everything between him and his partner gets worse and Ezekiel is terrified and miserable and goes to Jake for help?this is just...yeah





	Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This talks about serious topics such as domestic abuse/abusive relationships (mainly mental/emotional but physical is touched upon). I don’t claim to be an expert on these topics and tried to base it off the few personal experiences I’ve (and people I know have) had with abusive relationships (which, blessedly, isn’t much anyways). If this is something you cannot read then please do not. Please take care of yourselves and heed these warnings. And, also, I love you, whoever you may be. So, so much <3

Ezekiel felt alone.

It was the stupidest thing in the world too because he obviously wasn’t alone. He had his friends who also happened to be his coworkers which meant he saw them almost every day. He had his eccentric neighbor that still didn’t quite know the difference between privacy and sticking his head out his own window and calling Ezekiel’s name to ask for a bottle of water.

And he had Derrick. Derrick was great. Derrick was kind and considerate and loving, and he doted on Ezekiel whenever he got the chance. He was the best significant other Ezekiel had ever been with before. There should’ve been nothing wrong. He shouldn’t have felt the way he did.

Except he did. And he didn’t know why. It was really bothering him.

Ezekiel, stooped over a bowl of cereal, shook himself from his thoughts as his phone beeped at him. He sighed and glanced at it to find the alarm he’d set a long time ago to make sure he got out the door on time blinking up at him. Working quickly, Ezekiel pocketed his phone and threw his empty bowl in the sink. He grabbed a jacket and headed out of his apartment.

When Ezekiel reached the bottom floor, a red pickup truck pulled up to the curb his apartment building sat on. As he walked towards it, the passenger door swung open to reveal Jake’s I-woke-up-three-hours-ago-and-I’m-still-more-awake-than-you smile; it was a very specific smile and Ezekiel hated it.

Jake had been the first person Ezekiel had met when he moved to Cecily three years ago. The annoying asshole had had the gall to laugh when Ezekiel had dropped his suitcase (and all of his belongings) into the sea when he got off his boat. Jake had then, of course, jumped in after the poor suitcase and introduced himself with water streaming down his face and a piece of seaweed plastered over his forehead.

Ezekiel had been friends with him pretty much ever since.

“Let’s go, Jones,” Jake said, voice conveying his exasperation.

“You own the place, Stone,” Ezekiel pointed out, climbing into the truck. “It doesn’t really matter if you’re late.”

Jake shook his head at him as he pulled back onto the street. At seven in the morning, the small town was pretty empty. Which was a little unfair to say as the town was always a little empty. Jake told him, “That’s not the point, Jones.”

“Oh, and what would the point be, exactly?” Ezekiel asked him, attempting to hide the small smile on his face. Ruffling Jake’s feathers was probably the best part about his mornings.

“Well,” Jake said. “I guess the point is that you don’t own the place and, therefore, can be penalized for being late.”

Ezekiel shrugged. “Hey, it’s not my fault I’ll be late. In fact, it’s my boss’s fault. He’s the one who picks me up every morning.”

Jacob snorted, shaking his head to himself. “Funny. You’re a really funny guy, Jones.”

Ezekiel grinned cheekily at him as they pulled up to the bar/library. “Oh, you flatter me, Jake.”

Jake ignored him and climbed out of the truck. Ezekiel followed him, and when he walked inside after him, Cassandra tossed an apron to him. She was currently the only person in the front of building. Ezekiel knew Eve was probably in the back somewhere, getting ready to go patrol the towns (aka greet everyone as they walked to work).

“Good morning,” Cassandra said brightly. “You’re only three minutes late today. I’m impressed. That’s four minutes better than last time.”

Jake threw a thumb over his shoulder at Ezekiel. “Blame him. I didn’t do anything.”

Ezekiel rolled his eyes and said, “You know, this wouldn’t be a problem if we opened later in the evening. Y’know, like normal bars.”

“That’s your issue, Jones,” Eve said as she appeared from the back. “This isn’t a normal bar.”

“It’s also a library,” Cassandra added with a flourish to the bookshelves around her.

“So we have to open at godawful times in the morning just in case somebody wants or needs to check any sort of book out,” Jake chimed in, grinning slyly at Ezekiel. He too hated getting up so early just to come into work, but he’d take any chance he could get to work against Ezekiel in any kind of conversation.

Ezekiel huffed, so Cassandra added, “Plus we sell coffee and baked good in the mornings!”

“Only because people kept asking us why a bar was opened so early, and you guys needed an excuse,” Ezekiel reminded her.

Cassandra shrugged. “Hey, a reason’s a reason. Get over it, Ezekiel; you’ll just need to get used to the fact that you wake up early in the morning. And maybe realize that being on time is actually a good thing.”

“Let’s not dream too big, Cassie,” Ezekiel said, pointing little finger guns at her. 

Eve smiled bemusedly at them and said, “Well, I should go. James and I have a meeting this morning, so I promised him I’d leave earlier than usual.”

“Wait,” Cassandra said, ducking beneath the bar. She reappeared with a travel mug and held it out to Eve. “Don’t forget your coffee!”

Eve smiled sweetly at her and grabbed it. “Thanks, Red. I’d be lost without you.”

Cassandra’s cheeks flushed a little, but Eve had turned away and was heading towards the door as Cassandra called after her, “No problem. See you for lunch!”

Eve shot a thumbs up over her shoulder as she stepped out the door. Ezekiel and Jake shared a look with raised eyebrows. Unfortunately for them, Cassandra noticed and snapped, “What!?”

Jake held up his hands innocently. “What? We didn’t say anything…Red.”

“Shut up!” Cassandra squeaked at him. She threw a dish towel at him and stormed from behind the bar. “I’m going to go run some numbers. You jerks stay out here and watch the bar. Do you think you can handle that?”

“We love you, Cass!” Ezekiel called after her. He waited for her to disappear into the back office before he shared a look with Jake. They promptly fell into giggles as Ezekiel hopped over the bar to join Jake.

~~~

Everything was going normally until lunchtime rolled around. Eve had already come and gone, and Cassandra had left with her. Jake and Ezekiel were the only two in the bar, and they figured it would continue that way until later in the evening. So they were both equally surprised when the bell above the door dinged to signify someone entering.

Ezekiel glanced up and had to do a double take when he realized it was Derrick. He instantly felt uneasy. Derrick never visited Ezekiel at work. He thought Ezekiel’s workplace and his coworkers equally as stupid. He’d never understood Ezekiel’s fascination with the strange building and therefore had decided he’d never associate himself with it.

“Oh, hey, babe,” Ezekiel said, trying to ignore the fact that his voice shook. He glanced to his right to find Jake with narrowed eyes, watching Derrick with uncertainty. “What’s up? What’re you doing here?”

“Just visiting,” Derrick said. He walked up to the bar and leant against it with a faux pout on his face. “What, am I not allowed to visit you, love?”

“N-no, you definitely are,” Ezekiel told him. “I’m just surprised is all.”

“A good surprise, I hope,” Derrick said with eyebrows raised in suspicion. He didn’t let Ezekiel reply and instead let his eyes flash over to Jake. “Ah, Jacob. How funny it is to run into you here.”

“In my bar?” Jake continued staring at Derrick as if he were a complete idiot. 

Derrick gave him a painstakingly fake laugh. “That’s the joke, dearest. Please do us all a favor and keep up, alright?”

“Right,” Jake said, voice taking a dangerous, growling tone to it.

“Is there something you needed, Derrick?” Ezekiel asked quickly, worried Jake would start throwing punches; he was prone to that when people pissed him off no matter their relation to his friends.

Derrick’s glare slowly shifted to Ezekiel and only lessened slightly. He gave Ezekiel a thin smile. “Yes, dear, there is something I needed. I was wondering what time you were going to be home tonight.”

“Uh,” Ezekiel stammered, eyes flicking to Jake uneasily. “I’m not sure? It is Friday, Derrick.”

“And?” Derrick asked, voice quickly picking up an annoyed tone.

“Well, on Fridays I eat here…with friends,” Ezekiel said. “I’ve done it for the past two years now.”

Derrick frowned sharply at him. In a put-upon voice, he said, “Ezekiel, please do not take that tone with me. We both know that you sound like a fool when you try talking down to me.” He took a deep breath and said, “Well, you’ll just have to cancel your plans tonight.”

“‘Scuse you?” Jake said as Ezekiel asked, “What?”

“You heard me,” Derrick said, eyes sliding between both men behind the bar quickly. “Cancel your silly plans, Zeke. I require you to be home tonight. I want dinner with you. I certainly hope you’ll make that beef thing I love so much.”

“Derrick, I,-” Ezekiel started.

“Dude, he doesn’t have to do anything with you,” Jake said. Ezekiel glanced at him, eyes wide. Jake wasn’t done. “We hang out here every Friday night and tonight not’s gonna be any different, got it?”

“Excuse you,” Derrick turned to Jake, bringing himself up to his full height. He was nearly a head taller than Jake, but Jake didn’t back down. Derrick’s voice had a serious tone to it. “If you think I-.”

“Derrick,” Ezekiel cut in quickly, “it’s okay. I’ll be there tonight, okay? You don’t need to worry about it.”

“Jones-,” Jake tried to protest.

“It’s fine,” Ezekiel told him. He met Jake’s eyes and nodded. Jake looked uncertain, but he didn’t interrupt again. Ezekiel turned back to Derrick and plastered a smile on his face. “I’ll be home tonight. Six o'clock.”

“Make it five.” His tone wasn’t joking. He leaned across the bar and took Ezekiel’s lips in a smoldering kiss. It only made Ezekiel feel uncomfortable. Derrick leaned back and smiled at him. “See you later, dearest.”

He turned and left without a second word or a glance over his shoulder. When he was gone, Jake turned to Ezekiel and said, “Dude-.”

“Can I leave at a quarter past four?” Ezekiel asked, refusing to look at him. “I need to stop by the store on the way home.”

“Ezekiel,” Jake insisted, “you don’t have to put up with-.”

“Jacob,” Ezekiel snapped. Jake, who hated the use of his first name as it reminded him of a drunk father back in Oklahoma, flinched away from him. “Can I leave at a quarter after four?”

“Sure,” Jake said, voice hard. He slapped a towel across Ezekiel’s chest. “Clean up, will you? I’ll be in back. I can’t stand to stand in the wake of an asshole for much longer than I already have.”

Ezekiel sighed and ignored Jake stomping away from him. He grabbed the towel and began to wipe down the area where Derrick had leant across the bar.

~~~

When Ezekiel got back to his apartment, his arms laden with groceries, Derrick was sitting at the dining table. He was leant back in his chair with his feet propped up on the table. When Ezekiel walked in, he looked up from his phone and said, “Oh, there you are. Great.”

“Hey,” Ezekiel said, trying his best to give Derrick a tired grin. Jake, annoyed with Ezekiel’s cowardice, hadn’t talked to him for the rest of the day. Cassandra had shown up around three-thirty and had tried to defuse the obvious tension, but it had been useless and then Ezekiel had left. Needless to say, the rest of his day had been pretty draining. “How’re you?”

“Oh, marvelous,” Derrick drawled, going back to his phone. “Hey, I have a question. How long do you think dinner is going to take?”

Ezekiel glanced at him and set his groceries on the counter. “Um, I’m not sure. Maybe an hour or so, why?”

“Oh, that won’t work,” Derrick muttered to himself. He pocketed his phone and stood up, giving Ezekiel a guilty smile. “Look, I’m going to have to reschedule.”

“What?” Ezekiel snapped. “What are you talking about?”

“I have plans, dearest,” Derrick said. “It’s got to do with work. I’m sure you understand.”

“Are you kidding?” Ezekiel asked, his temper quickly rising. “Like, are you actually shitting me, Derrick? You pulled me away from my plans so we could have dinner, and now you’re saying that you can’t do dinner because your plans came up?”

“Yes,” Derrick said. He drew himself up and his voice grew hard. “That’s what I’m saying. Is there something the matter with that?”

“Is there something-?” Ezekiel spluttered in disbelief. “Are you actually fucking with me right now? I mean-.”

“Ezekiel.” Derrick stood over him now. Leaning slightly forward and curling over Ezekiel menacingly. Ezekiel felt himself cringe away from him, his back pressing against the counter behind him. “I know you’re upset, but you need to stop this nonsense. This is a very important meeting concerning my future – our future. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“N-no, I,” Ezekiel tried to say.

“Just because you enjoy gallivanting around day after day with your silly friends in that stupid bar doesn’t mean that one of us doesn’t care about what happens to us,” Derrick said. His voice was still low and cold. His eyes were unrelenting, refusing to look away from Ezekiel’s own. “Now, I’m going to leave. Make your dinner if you want, but I don’t want to hear another word about all of this. Maybe while I’m gone, you can remind yourself of all the sacrifices that I’ve made so we can be together, here.”

“R-right,” Ezekiel mumbled, hanging his head. “I-I’m sorry, Derrick. I just overreacted.”

“Mm,” Derrick hummed. He cupped Ezekiel’s cheek with his hand and pressed a small kiss to his forehead. “I know, dear. We’ll work on that, hm? I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You’re not coming back tonight?” Ezekiel asked.

“I’m going to go back to my apartment,” Derrick told him, stepping away. He grabbed his jacket and threw it over his shoulders. “Don’t want to get too stifled now do I?”

“Oh,” Ezekiel murmured.

“Bye, love!” Derrick called over his shoulder as he walked through the door and shut it behind him.

Ezekiel stared at the door for a few seconds before he shook his head. He put his groceries away and then threw a frozen pizza in the oven. When it was done, he cut it quickly, slapped a few pieces on a plate, wrapped himself up in a sweater, and wandered over to his fire escape. He opened the window and, with pizza in hand, crawled out to sit on the rickety, metal structure.

Ezekiel had made it halfway through his second piece of pizza when the window next to his opened up. His eccentric neighbor climbed out of it with a carton of eggs in his hands. He dropped two eggs over the ledge before he noticed Ezekiel, and when he did, he ended up dropping the whole carton anyway.

“Holy cripes!” the man yelled, clutching at of his heart. “I had no idea you were there.”

“Uh, sorry, mate,” Ezekiel said. He peeked over the edge to see the yellow remains of the guy’s carton and added, “I can buy you a new carton, if you want.”

The man waved away his offer with a flick of his hand. He climbed out of his window fully and sat down, glancing at Ezekiel with a sunny smile. “Oh, it’s no problem. I honestly think I’ve raided you of enough various goods to make up for it.”

“Right, well,” Ezekiel said awkwardly. “Offer still stands.”

“It’s Ezekiel, right?” the man asked, changing the topic. When Ezekiel nodded, the man stuck his hand through both their railings and offered it up to Ezekiel. “I’m Flynn: Flynn Carsen.”

Ezekiel wiped his hand on his pants before shaking Flynn’s. “Nice to officially meet you.”

“Is your boyfriend already asleep?” Flynn asked amiably, sitting back.

Ezekiel froze. “My, uh, my what?”

Flynn’s face instantly flushed. “Oh, I’m sorry. Is he not your boyfriend? I guess I just kind of assumed. I mean, I guess that was pretty stupid of me. He could be a brother or a friend or a nephew maybe, in a really strange world, or-.”

“No, no,” Ezekiel interrupted him. “He is my boyfriend. I just didn’t realize you knew he…well, existed, I guess.”

“Oh, well, yeah,” Flynn said, brightening up again. “I mean, the walls are pretty thin, and, really, only couples fight as much as you two do. All the yelling and-.”

Flynn froze, obviously coming to his senses. Ezekiel huffed and looked away from him, muttering, “It’s not fighting, okay? It’s just…talking.”

“R-right, my bad,” Flynn said. “I just thought-.”

“You thought wrong,” Ezekiel snapped. “I-It’s not fighting. He just tells me when I do stupid shit, and I apologize for it. Honestly, if anything, that’s just correcting. There’s nothing wrong with trying to become a better person.”

“Well, yes,” Flynn said uncomfortably. “I dunno. It just feels different when the person trying to help you become better makes you feel unbearably guilty for making accidents.”

“Dude,” Ezekiel practically growled, “what’s your freaking deal? J-Just back off, okay? None of this is your business, okay? Just, like, butt out.”

Ezekiel ducked back into his apartment and did his best to slam the window behind him. He angrily tossed away his plate and went into his bedroom. He quickly changed clothes and fell onto his bed.

A few minutes later he heard his neighbor go back into his own apartment and wander around aimlessly; he was right – the walls were thin. Ezekiel grabbed his headphones and put them over his head as he played a random song on his phone.

Ezekiel tried to lay back in order to find asleep, but he found that it evaded him. Instead he couldn’t get what Flynn had said out of his head. It was stupid, it really was. Flynn didn’t know him, and he didn’t know Derrick either. He didn’t know how they worked. He only knew what he’d heard through the walls. That was like judging an entire TV show by hearing one scene while you’re half-asleep.

It shouldn’t have kept Ezekiel up, thinking.

And, yet, it did.

Part of him, whether he realized it or not, knew Flynn was right. What he and Derrick had was…unconventional. Actually, it was hard on him. He find it difficult to have once actual conversation with Derrick without it ending in him hating himself just a little bit more each time.

That wasn’t normal…right?

As a matter of fact, Ezekiel couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually enjoyed a moment spent with Derrick. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked at him without his heart and stomach sinking. He couldn’t remember the last time he didn’t have to keep the tremor out of his voice when speaking with Derrick.

Ezekiel found himself suddenly gasping for breath with tears at burning his eyes. His hands were clenched as fists at his side. He wanted to throw his blanket over his head and never come out. He wanted to apologize to his neighbor. He wanted…

He wanted Jake. He wanted to tell Jake. It was stupid because why the hell would Jake care? Jake was just his friend, and he didn’t like Derrick anyway. Why would he want to hear Ezekiel bitching about the fact he was worried he might be caught up in an abusive relationship?

Whoa, wait, Ezekiel through to himself. Abusive? Where the hell had that come from? That wasn’t what this was. He felt himself practically shying away from the word and its implications. He knew a relationship could be abusive in multiple ways and not just physical, but Derrick had never hit him and had never done something that made Ezekiel feel like he was being abused.

Maybe he was just overreacting. There were people in more serious situations than his that actually were classified as abusive. Ezekiel shook his head, appalled at himself for ever comparing himself to those people. He was just some whiney teenager who couldn’t have one fight with his boyfriend without feeling stupid.

Ezekiel shut his eyes tight and tried to ignore the loudness that was his brain. He eventually fell into a fitful sleep.

~~~

Ezekiel woke up the next day to his work-alarm. He cursed to himself as he got out of bed and changed into his clothes. By the time he’d finished getting ready, he’d received four messages from Jake asking where he was. Ezekiel ran down the stairs and jogged up to Jake’s pickup.

He yanked open the door to find an annoyed frown and impatient fingers tapping against the steering wheel. When Jake glanced at him, however, his face dropped and his brows knitted in concern. “Dude, you look like hell.”

“Wild night,” Ezekiel said, coughing out a laugh that sounded faker than most primetime celebrities. “You know how it goes.”

Jake rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but even he couldn’t get the worry to leave his eyes. “Yeah, man, whatever. You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Ezekiel said. He glanced back at his building one last time, unease simmering beneath his happy exterior.

~~~

The entire day Ezekiel found himself catching himself from telling Jake everything. He didn’t know why this thing had decided to rear its ugly head now, but he really wanted it to go away. He knew he was overreacting. He knew it was stupid. He didn’t know why he was being like this.

Unbeknownst to him, Jake was sending him concerned looks all day. He’d purposefully forgotten about the events of yesterday and spent the whole day trying to cheer Ezekiel up. He poked fun at him and teased Cassie relentlessly just to try to pull a genuine smile from him. It was useless, though, as Ezekiel seemed lost in himself all day long. Jake didn’t know how to pull him out. He was worried Ezekiel would get lost in there forever.

~~~

When Ezekiel got home, he felt more tired than he had the day before. He was surprised to find Derrick sitting at his dining table again, phone out and feet propped up on the table. When Ezekiel walked in, Derrick’s eyes slid up to him in disdain. He threw the phone on the table and stood up, walking up to Ezekiel.

Ezekiel shut the door quickly behind him and was glad he did.

“Where the hell have you been?” Derrick demanded, looming over Ezekiel.

“Uh, work?” Ezekiel replied, hating the question mark he left at the end of the statement. “W-Why? What’s wrong?”

“I thought we had a rain check,” Derrick said. He indicated to the counter behind him that was covered in the groceries Ezekiel had purchased the day before. “I’ve been waiting here all afternoon.”

“O-oh,” Ezekiel stammered. “I d-didn’t know you meant tonight. We never discussed-.”

Derrick sighed in Ezekiel’s face making him flinch away from the hot breath. “Ezekiel, darling, stop whimpering. It doesn’t suit you. Look, it’s whatever. Let’s just have dinner, alright? Then we can get into more fun activities, hm?”

Derrick curled his hands over Ezekiel’s hips and squeezed with a predatory grin on his face. Ezekiel squirmed, and Derrick’s grip got harder along with his face. He leant in close, top lip curling into a sneer. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I’m just not…up for it tonight,” Ezekiel told him. He tried to get out of Derrick’s grip, but he wouldn’t let up. “Can’t we just…not? I’m really tired and-.”

“Are you serious?” Derrick scoffed, stepping away from Ezekiel and throwing up his hands in the air. He turned back to Ezekiel, eyes glinting. “I took time out of my evening to come here and make it up to you for missing dinner yesterday, and you’re not up for it? Like, are you seriously fucking kidding me? I try so hard and-.”

“Derrick,” Ezekiel snapped, feeling something in him crack and splinter. “Stop. I appreciate you trying to make up for yesterday, but I’m tired and I’m not in the mood to be made up to. Why don’t you just leave, okay?”

“Oh?” Derrick said, voice dangerously quiet. “You want me to…leave?”

“Y-Yeah,” Ezekiel said, voice growing stronger. “I do. I want to be alone tonight.”

“You little, piece of-.” Ezekiel ducked away from Derrick’s swinging fist. It hadn’t hit him but if it had…

“What the hell?” Ezekiel’s voice was a hushed, nearly-horrified whisper. He backed away from Derrick, back bumping into the door.

Derrick sighed, but he didn’t look sorry. “Look, Ezekiel, just come here, alright? You’re bringing me to do things I don’t want to. I just-.”

“Then I’ll give you the opportunity to not do them,” Ezekiel said sharply. He ducked away from another hand grasping for the front of his shirt and pushed open the door, stumbling through it. He got his feet beneath him and ran down the hall.

“Ezekiel! Get back here!” Derrick shouted after him.

Ezekiel ignored it and raced down the stairs. When he reached the sidewalk, he realized he had nowhere he could go. He’d just left his own apartment, Derrick’s apartment was a definite no, and the only other apartment he knew how to get to in this darkness was Jake’s, and he would still be at the bar at this time…

The bar!

Ezekiel took off down the street on the familiar path that he’d ridden in Jake’s pickup on every morning for the past two years.

The lights were still on, but when Ezekiel fell through the doors, there were only a few people sitting around the bar. Jake was behind it, rubbing down a glass with a towel. He glanced up when Ezekiel burst through the door, and a smile was about to break out across his face when he noticed the panicked look on Ezekiel’s face.

He frowned and quickly said, “Fred, you’re in charge. Don’t let these crazy, ol’ fools do anything stupid.”

Fred, who was a regular at the bar and well on his way into a drunken stupor, shot Jake a thumbs up. Jake hopped over the bar and walked up to Ezekiel. Ezekiel didn’t hesitate falling against him, taking deep breaths against Jake’s warm chest.

He was lead to the office in the back of the bar and sat down on the couch that was in there. He didn’t even realize he had tears running down his face until Jake’s rough thumb pad was wiping them away from his cheeks tenderly.

Jake’s voice was gruff in his attempt to be hushed. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong, man? Are you okay?”

“N-no,” Ezekiel sobbed. His head was ducked into Jake’s neck, leaving them sitting in a very awkward and uncomfortable position, but Ezekiel was in no state to readjust himself and Jake seemed content with the position and rubbing rhythmic circles into Ezekiel’s back. “It’s not okay. Fuck, nothing is okay. Everything’s fucked.”

“O-Okay,” Jake said, sounding a little overwhelmed. “Let’s just start from the beginning, alright?”

“Well, I met Derrick about a year ago,” Ezekiel started, bitterly sarcastic.

He felt Jake’s arms tighten around him, but his voice stayed hushed and calm. “I’ll fucking kill him. Did he hurt you? I swear to god, I’ll-.”

“He didn’t touch me,” Ezekiel murmured. “He might’ve…but he didn’t. He’s not abusive.”

“Physically,” Jake said. “But emotionally…”

Ezekiel sighed roughly, nosing at Jake’s throat. “How come everyone around me is privy to that information except me?”

“We make excuses for the people we love,” Jake murmured. He sighed, his breath gently ruffling Ezekiel’s hair. “Am I still allowed to kill him?”

Ezekiel slowly shook his head. “N-no…but if he comes near me when you’re around, I wouldn’t fight you too much if you acted like an asshole to him.”

“A few punches?” Jake suggested.

“Hey, you’re an adult,” Ezekiel mumbled. “You can make your own decisions.”

“Fuck,” Jake breathed out, “I’m so sorry, Ezekiel. I should’ve done something sooner. I shouldn’t have acted like a piss-baby when he came over the other day. I should’ve talked to you about this, I should’ve-.”

“Stop,” Ezekiel softly interrupted. “D-Don’t play the ‘what-if’ game with this…not with this because then I’ll have to play it too. Let’s just…be happy I realized, yeah?”

Jake nodded slowly. “Yeah…I guess.” His hand reached up to play with the short hairs at the back of Ezekiel’s neck. “Can we talk to Eve tomorrow? She can help us figure stuff out…legally. I mean, only if you’re okay with it. I don’t want to force you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, but I-.”

“Jake,” Ezekiel murmured, “I’ll talk to her. For now can I just…sit here? As nice as this is, it’s not just gonna fix anything. You guys can’t fix everything. I have a lot I need to do myself, but, for now, it’s helping me feel better.”

“Y-Yeah,” Jake mumbled. His arms tightened around Ezekiel as he leant back against the couch and pulled Ezekiel up his chest with him. “I got you.”

“I know,” Ezekiel whispered. His hands balled into Jake’s shirt as he closed his eyes. “I know.”

It wasn’t okay; it wouldn’t be for a long time. Jake wasn’t a magic fix, no matter what either of them wanted to pretend. But at least, for now, Ezekiel wasn’t falling apart.

And, at the moment, it was probably the best thing he could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading this. I hope I addressed these issues in a respectful and politically correct way. I wanted to make sure that I did this right. I hope you enjoyed it and took my message in the beginning notes seriously. Because, really, I do love you <3


End file.
